A Growing Affection

In the 1st trimester, I read that at the beginning of pregnancy, one "looks inward" upon learning that you are pregnant. You try to let the idea sink in and there's a lot of introspection going on. I might have mentioned this before. But, looking back, it's so true. There are so many phases to this experience and it's very fascinating to me.

The 1st trimester is all about questioning: What is pregnancy going to be like? Why do I feel this way? How are people going to react? What kind of parent am I going to be? Holy crap is this really happening?! For some people, you spend all this time searching for answers - at least I did. I do admire women who go with the flow and learn as they go. Not me. I've always had an anxiety tick (thanks to genetics), but it's OK. I use it to my advantage and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to know why things happen the way they do, and what you can do to make the best of it all. Anyway, there's definitely a lot of reflecting going on in the 1st trimester because it doesn't seem entirely real that you're going to have a baby.

The 2nd trimester is all about "outward-ness." I'm 22 weeks along this week and I feel really good. The baby is kicking a lot, I'm starting to show, although, I still look like I'm in the "is she gaining weight?" phase, we're starting to gather a lot of baby supplies, and right now it all feels very real. I'm no longer urgently looking on-line for answers, currently not worrying about pregnancy complications, and we are more and more elated with the fact that we're going to have a child!

For me, it started when I felt the baby's first real kicks. Before, it was like I was having muscle twitches in my abdomen - what they call fluttering or butterflies. But now, it's full blown kicking and maybe even little punches. Every time I feel the baby, I think oh, there he is! And I say hello little guy. I know I'm a dork, but that's what comes to mind every time. I'm starting to really enjoy his presence and I realize that my love is growing for him. It's so strange to me, but a good strange!

Part of it too is that we were able to get a whole bunch of baby supplies from my sister. We drove down to Chicago over Thanksgiving and filled a mini-van with stuff. It was great. We feel very blessed to have all these things and to know that all this money is not being spent. It feels good to know we're recycling and hopefully we can pass these things on to others. This is what we received: clothes from 0-12 mos., 2 swings, 2 bouncy seats, a bumbo, an infant carseat w/stroller (my other sister gave us an unused and larger carseat for later), a breast pump, a rocker, extra newborn diapers, a high chair, and other things I'm sure I can't think of right now. My MIL has a crib and changing table for us, so I think we're pretty much set.

Lastly, we're thinking of baby names. Names are so difficult. We want it to be unique, we also want it to be of Latino origin, but we want to choose one that everyone can say without difficulty. We want to tie the name to our families somehow - make connections to preserve legacies. We want to choose a name that will remind us of someone special or someone that has made an impact on us. How the heck do you do this?! We are optimistic though, and I know that we'll come up with something.

It's amazing to see the workings of human nature. To closely look at this timeline of having a baby, and how it influences the way we think and act. My second trimester is going to be a refreshing gentle breeze as we prepare for our baby boy. It's going by quickly with the holidays and all and before I know it, I'll be focusing on labor and delivery. I've kind of put that on the back-burner, but I will definitely be looking at various "techniques" on how I would like to deliver. May not turn out the way I plan, but I will try to be as prepared and open-minded as possible.