40 weeks and 4 days pregnant

Well, since I have nothing else to do right now but wait, I'll write about what I've been feeling these days. It's amazing that a few days of being "overdue" can have such an impact. I should know by working in a prenatal clinic that being overdue is no big deal, but when it's happening to YOU, you can't help but feel restless, antsy, and OVERDUE!

I believe that medical providers should not provide a due-date. Our society places too much pressure on what that means. Once you're passed that date you're "overdue," and it seems to gives it such a negative connotation. People and you yourself start to wonder, are you not healthy, what's going on, they wonder in general, "what's wrong?" But the reality is, nothing is wrong. A woman should be able to have a baby between 37-42 weeks without there anything being wrong. I think medical providers should just give you a month that you'll most likely deliver and that's it. That way, that due-date isn't so anticipated and it doesn't become such a huge dissapointment.

At times, I feel totally chill. I think, this baby will come when he's ready and my body is preparing for that day, whatever day that is. Rational, calm, positive, right? Well then, I wake up every morning, crabby as heck from not sleeping comfortably, and think, GOD really - just another day? That feeling does go away though, b/c I think I'm getting closer and closer and I simply have to be positive.

I've tried things like walking, stairs, eating pineapple, spicy food, a little beer and wine here and there, pedicure, foot massages from my dear husband, and I use the exercise ball a lot. But nothing seems to happen. I feel "normal" a lot of times and think is this real, am I ever going to have this baby? I truly wonder, but know, that eventually yes he has to come out. I really don't think that doing all these things will induce labor anyway. I think if you happen to do it and you do go into labor, I believe it's more of a coincidence. I could be wrong, but who will ever know?

Anyway, I do get nervous and anxiuous when I think of the moment I go into labor. My heart skips a beat just thinking about the moment that my water will break, or I see a mucous plug, or I have a massive contraction. I hope that being nervous and scared is common - I don't want to be because I know that it can interfere with labor and with letting your body do what it needs to do, but I can't help it! I will do my best to remind myself that I need to relax, be in the moment, and REALLY let my body do what it needs to do. I like to think that I'll be doing all of this with my husband, and also with the baby. That we will all being doing this together and that we'll be a great team. It's all I can hope for.

So now, I'm super-excited. Just can't wait to meet this little babe. To greet him and to hold with my arms and hands. I know it will be one of the most spectacular, terrific, amazing, moments and maybe a moment I won't even be able to describe... I hope to post soon after I deliver so that I don't forget what that whole experience was like.

Weeks Pregnant = 39

39 weeks pregnant! How did that happen so quickly??? I remember when I was just pregnant and I thought, boy do I have a long way to go. The time has come where I no longer need to know how big I'm going to get (pretty big, a total of 30 lbs), what my cravings are going to be (officially - ice cream, oranges, ice, and potatoes - in any form), whether swimming or walking will be my preference (swimming), if I'm going to be able to read all the pregnancy books in time (yes), whether or not we'll have a doula (we are), whether or not we'll circumcise (we will), whether or not my boobs will be huge (they aren't!). All this wonderment...is no longer there - or should I say, is different now.

I keep thinking to myself that the way I'm feeling right now, in this last stretch of pregnancy, is what I feel when I'm tapering for a marathon. For those who haven't run a marathon or any sort of race, I apologize, but I can't think of what else to compare it to. I will go on to say though that if you haven't run a marathon, it doesn't matter, it's what women are encouraged to do anyway to prepare for a healthy labor and delivery.

In these last 3 weeks, I've focused on how much carbs/proteins I've eaten and will eat, how much fluids I'm taking in, how much sleep and rest I've added to my days - I've been thinking about what I'm going to wear on the day I deliver (if I labor in clothes or hospital gown or nothing at all), and what I'll eat on that day as well. It's funny because my mom and grandmother are coming on Thursday and we've had to come up with a game plan on where they should go the day I go into labor - just like I would on Marathon day - like where they should be standing so they can see me run by! I think this is great, and it's really helping me stay focused and relaxed. Like, I've done this before, you know.

I like to compare the two, running a marathon and delivering a baby (SORRY for those moms who can say there is NO COMPARISON, but humor me here...) because when you prepare for a marathon, you invest so much time training and you prepare for 1 day. You have no idea what that day will look like, but you have some knowledge, some vision. And, that day could be an awesome day or it can be a really bad day. You won't know until you're going through it. This is how I'm feeling about delivering the baby. We've prepared, we've read, we've anticipated this day for a while now, and now all we can do is wait until the actual day comes and hope for the very best.

I'm working now and will until I deliver, and that has also kept me a bit distracted. It can be stressful at times, but I'm OK with it - it keeps me busy and it's fun to see my clients' reactions when I tell them I only have days left until the due-date. This whole experience has also made such a difference in the work that I do. I think my clients see me in a different light now that we can relate to each other even more. It's been so valuable for me to go through this and now be able to say to my clients, I really know what you're talking about. And, I love it when my pregnant clients say, "It's about time you're having a baby!" Some think I'm too old to be having my 1st...