We had our 20 week survey/ultrasound yesterday and it has been revealed that we are having a boy! I was in shock, but if I would've heard that it was a girl, I would've been in shock as well. I just couldn't believe that whole time we were in there that the baby on the screen was ours. That it was my baby!
I've experienced many, many interesting things in my life, but this one beats them all. When you see living things grow, outside of your body, it seems so normal, so natural. But when you know that someone, this little living being, is growing inside of you, the whole experience becomes truly wild. I can't think of any other word at the moment... You look at the screen and you think for a moment that what is happening has to be happening outside of you, but no, it's all right there inside of your uterus.
We were so excited, to say the least, and it was so fun to see the baby move, and yawn!, and cover its face. We saw the outline of the little penis and testicle. As one of my friends put it, I'm growing a little penis inside of me! Everything else looked good to me, and hopefully to the ultrasound tech too.
I was nervous that something would be wrong and that the tech would tell me to wait after the appointment so that my midwife could tell me what was wrong. She didn't, but she also wasn't very jolly about the whole thing. I know techs are like that sometimes, like emotionless because they have to be, but come on! I asked about my bicornuate uterus and she actually looked closely for it and it was there. It was so cool, strangely! We saw a heart and the baby inside of it. I wish she would've taken a shot of it b/c it was so visible. It was like a heart that you would draw on a piece of paper. We were both kind of delighted to see that the baby was inside of this heart. I just hope that the heart stretches as the baby continues to grow...
The results came back today and all looks good. Baby is sizing at 21 weeks, which is great. All organs were visible and so no problems were detected at this time. I definitely am thankful for many, many things this Thanksgiving, but I have to say I am most grateful for being able to grow this baby, and that so far he is thriving well.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Sueño de Bebé
Last night I had the most amazing dream about childbirth. It was me giving birth to a baby boy, and it was so incredibly pleasant that I woke up smiling.
I dreamt that I was waking up in the early morning and that I delivered the baby on our bed. My husband had already left for work and I was alone. I didn't dream of any blood or pain. The baby came out and he was beautiful. He looked a lot like my nephews, except that he had greenish eyes. He had blackish hair and eyebrows, but very light-skinned. I immediately put him to my breast to nurse and he latched on perfectly. I was like, "oh, is this going to hurt?" But it didn't. It was so damn real. Even more so because, today in real life, my husband was at an in-service training for work and so that is where he was in my dream. I called him, but thought he won't answer his phone b/c he's at this training. I left him a message saying that I had delivered the baby - that it was so amazing - and that he had to call me back.
After that, I stared at the baby for a long time and couldn't believe that everything had gone so smoothly, that the baby was so healthy, and that I had delivered the baby all by myself! I remembered thinking that maybe I should call the midwife to tell her that we were both OK, but I didn't b/c I felt like I didn't need to.
Jeff hadn't called and I was anxiously waiting to tell him that we had a baby boy. I remember talking to my mom on the phone and she was asking me what we had named him. I told her that I wasn't expecting the baby this soon and that we hadn't decided on one. All the names that are on my "mental" list crossed my mind, but I thought we'd worry about that later. Also, in my dream I was 32 weeks along.
The last think I remember was that I was hanging out with one of my sisters and a family friend. We were having wine near a fireplace and waiting for Jeff. I put the baby down to change his diaper and then I woke up.
I felt so at ease in that dream. I haven't had much anxiety about delivering the baby, but I have thought about it a lot. I'm deciding that I will try hypno-birthing and a water birth, if all goes well. I think I had this dream b/c it's exactly how I want to feel when I give birth in April. I want to be as calm as possible so that the baby is calm, and also everyone else around me. Especially, my dear husband.
To have this kind of dream was a blessing. It has set the tone for the kind of delivery I hope to have. I know things happen, and it may not turn out so pleasant, but I will for sure remain positive and try my best to have a birth similar to my dream. We'll see what happens.
I dreamt that I was waking up in the early morning and that I delivered the baby on our bed. My husband had already left for work and I was alone. I didn't dream of any blood or pain. The baby came out and he was beautiful. He looked a lot like my nephews, except that he had greenish eyes. He had blackish hair and eyebrows, but very light-skinned. I immediately put him to my breast to nurse and he latched on perfectly. I was like, "oh, is this going to hurt?" But it didn't. It was so damn real. Even more so because, today in real life, my husband was at an in-service training for work and so that is where he was in my dream. I called him, but thought he won't answer his phone b/c he's at this training. I left him a message saying that I had delivered the baby - that it was so amazing - and that he had to call me back.
After that, I stared at the baby for a long time and couldn't believe that everything had gone so smoothly, that the baby was so healthy, and that I had delivered the baby all by myself! I remembered thinking that maybe I should call the midwife to tell her that we were both OK, but I didn't b/c I felt like I didn't need to.
Jeff hadn't called and I was anxiously waiting to tell him that we had a baby boy. I remember talking to my mom on the phone and she was asking me what we had named him. I told her that I wasn't expecting the baby this soon and that we hadn't decided on one. All the names that are on my "mental" list crossed my mind, but I thought we'd worry about that later. Also, in my dream I was 32 weeks along.
The last think I remember was that I was hanging out with one of my sisters and a family friend. We were having wine near a fireplace and waiting for Jeff. I put the baby down to change his diaper and then I woke up.
I felt so at ease in that dream. I haven't had much anxiety about delivering the baby, but I have thought about it a lot. I'm deciding that I will try hypno-birthing and a water birth, if all goes well. I think I had this dream b/c it's exactly how I want to feel when I give birth in April. I want to be as calm as possible so that the baby is calm, and also everyone else around me. Especially, my dear husband.
To have this kind of dream was a blessing. It has set the tone for the kind of delivery I hope to have. I know things happen, and it may not turn out so pleasant, but I will for sure remain positive and try my best to have a birth similar to my dream. We'll see what happens.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Midwives or Doctors?
It's funny how people react when they hear the word midwife. Before I started working in prenatal, I also had the same reaction. What exactly does a midwife do? How qualified are they to be delivering babies? Are they like nurses? I started working with midwives a little over 2 years ago and I truly believe in their quality of care. Yeah, they are kinda touchy-feely (no pun intended), but they are so passionate about pregnancy and childbirth. That is their focus. They don't work on anybody else, but pregnant women. I believe they are more than just qualified.
So naturally, I chose to see a midwife for my pregnancy. What's interesting is that because I have this funky-shaped uterus, I get so many different opinions. At one point, the 1st doctor I saw said that she was going to treat me like a regular patient. I wasn't high-risk in her eyes. Great! I switch to the midwife and she also states that she will not be treating me as a high-risk patient, but for precautionary measures, she asked me if I wanted to consult another dr. I said yes and this dr. who had never seen me or spoken with me, said I needed ultrasounds every 2 weeks from 12-28 weeks. That's 10 intra-vaginal ultrasounds! I could tell that the midwife wasn't too happy about it and I certainly wasn't either. She suggested I speak with a dr. from the same medical group to see if I could advocate for myself.
My husband and I felt that if "it wasn't broken, why try to fix it?" I wasn't cramping or bleeding and felt great. Why mess with it? So, I went to "advocate" for myself.
The dr. (a different one) I met with was awesome. Very smart, direct, and sat with me for 45 min explaining why it wouldn't make sense for me to have all these ultrasounds. She said that because I have a bicornuate uterus, doesn't mean that I have an incompentent one. She asked for me to come back at 30 weeks, and then we could see how the baby and I were progressing. I was so glad to hear it, and also glad that I had taken the time to see if the ultrasounds were at all necessary. It would've been a waste of time and money.
Today, I'm 19 weeks and 1 day. Yesterday, another midwife said to me that I should get an ultrasound (because of my condition) sooner than later (my 20 week survey is scheduled for next week) because it will show how much space the baby actually has to grow. I set one up for yesterday, went to the appointment, and the radiologist stated that it wasn't necessary at this point. That I should just wait until next week. (I almost peed on myself because I had to have a full-bladder - all of this for nothin'!) I said fine, let me pee and I left.
Now see, I would've liked an ultrasound at that point because the midwife had given me something to think about. She was being thorough and I liked that. But the different opinions is what gets me. I've learned that the best way to handle things is to go with your gut. If it feels good, then it is good. Always get second or third opinions too. You have nothing to lose. I was ok with yesterday's outcome - I figured I've done well for 19 weeks, I'm not going to worry about it now.
So, bottom line. See a midwife if know you aren't a high-risk patient. If you become one, the midwife will tell you, and they'll transfer you to a competent dr for the rest of your care. Midwives are all different too. Some act like mothers, some like doctors, but all in all they'll take care of you. If you don't jive with one, switch to another. Just like you would do with a doctor.
So naturally, I chose to see a midwife for my pregnancy. What's interesting is that because I have this funky-shaped uterus, I get so many different opinions. At one point, the 1st doctor I saw said that she was going to treat me like a regular patient. I wasn't high-risk in her eyes. Great! I switch to the midwife and she also states that she will not be treating me as a high-risk patient, but for precautionary measures, she asked me if I wanted to consult another dr. I said yes and this dr. who had never seen me or spoken with me, said I needed ultrasounds every 2 weeks from 12-28 weeks. That's 10 intra-vaginal ultrasounds! I could tell that the midwife wasn't too happy about it and I certainly wasn't either. She suggested I speak with a dr. from the same medical group to see if I could advocate for myself.
My husband and I felt that if "it wasn't broken, why try to fix it?" I wasn't cramping or bleeding and felt great. Why mess with it? So, I went to "advocate" for myself.
The dr. (a different one) I met with was awesome. Very smart, direct, and sat with me for 45 min explaining why it wouldn't make sense for me to have all these ultrasounds. She said that because I have a bicornuate uterus, doesn't mean that I have an incompentent one. She asked for me to come back at 30 weeks, and then we could see how the baby and I were progressing. I was so glad to hear it, and also glad that I had taken the time to see if the ultrasounds were at all necessary. It would've been a waste of time and money.
Today, I'm 19 weeks and 1 day. Yesterday, another midwife said to me that I should get an ultrasound (because of my condition) sooner than later (my 20 week survey is scheduled for next week) because it will show how much space the baby actually has to grow. I set one up for yesterday, went to the appointment, and the radiologist stated that it wasn't necessary at this point. That I should just wait until next week. (I almost peed on myself because I had to have a full-bladder - all of this for nothin'!) I said fine, let me pee and I left.
Now see, I would've liked an ultrasound at that point because the midwife had given me something to think about. She was being thorough and I liked that. But the different opinions is what gets me. I've learned that the best way to handle things is to go with your gut. If it feels good, then it is good. Always get second or third opinions too. You have nothing to lose. I was ok with yesterday's outcome - I figured I've done well for 19 weeks, I'm not going to worry about it now.
So, bottom line. See a midwife if know you aren't a high-risk patient. If you become one, the midwife will tell you, and they'll transfer you to a competent dr for the rest of your care. Midwives are all different too. Some act like mothers, some like doctors, but all in all they'll take care of you. If you don't jive with one, switch to another. Just like you would do with a doctor.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
18.5 weeks
The flutters have officially arrived,
And have been such a pleasant surprise.
A week and a half to go,
And we’ll find out if we’re having a tie or a bow!
The growing belly, sometimes feels like jelly,
But reminds me that what I’m growing will bring us a life full of smiling.
It’s been a week of introspection, but as it comes,
It builds affection.
For what will soon become a new joyous life.
And have been such a pleasant surprise.
A week and a half to go,
And we’ll find out if we’re having a tie or a bow!
The growing belly, sometimes feels like jelly,
But reminds me that what I’m growing will bring us a life full of smiling.
It’s been a week of introspection, but as it comes,
It builds affection.
For what will soon become a new joyous life.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Early Pregnancy Symptoms
I'm going to write about the symptoms I felt when I first got pregnant. I better do this now, as I think I could be forgetting.
The days right after ovulation, I did not feel a thing. When I went on-line to check what I should look out for, women swore they felt implantation (when fertilized egg implants itself somewhere in the uterus). This should happen 6-10 days after you ovulate. Conception occurs a soon as you ovulate since sperm is waiting for egg, but then it (the teeny-tiny cell) just floats down to your uterus, which takes several days. I did not feel a thing, and I believe many, many women don't either. People think they shouldn't do anything like exercise or be active or even eat or drink anything unhealthy (I will admit, I was one of those people) because they think it will interfere with implantation. I now say and believe it can't be true. How do super-duper athletes get pregnant then? How do super-duper UNhealthy women get pregnant?
After implantation occurs, some women experience "implantation bleeding." That didn't happen to me either. I do believe that the bleeding happens more often than actually feeling implantation b/c some women think it's their period that has arrived. What I think is so crazy about getting pregnant, is that the symptoms are so, so, so similar to getting your period. You will see that women will say they totally thought that their period was coming, when in reality they were pregnant. Or vise-versa, they think they are pregnant and hello, there's Aunt Flo.
My first symptom was that I didn't get my period. I did test the day before I was supposed to get it, but it was true confirmation when I didn't get it. By the way, my cycles were about 26-32 days long. It was hard to monitor ovulation with such a variety. I probably should have used ovulation kits earlier, but didn't want to take it that seriously at that point.
About a week later, I started to feel early, and I mean early symptoms. If you're in-tune with your body, it's easier to realize what's happening. My 2nd and 3rd symptoms were nausea and headaches. I never really had headaches before I was pregnant, but I get them now. The first headache was awful. Probably a migraine. It lasted about 2 days. The nausea was here and there. I didn't feel anything else until the not-so-subtle nausea kicked into high gear along with the exhaustion, at about 7 weeks. This is when I started to feel miserable.
I was feeling sick constantly, tired like you wouldn't believe, and super emotional. My boobs started to hurt too, but they weren't hurting like I was getting my period. The nipples hurt badly, like needles were going in them. When I got cold, they would get hard and hurt like crazy. I thought it would feel like when my period was coming, but it wasn't. It was very different for me. I felt these symptoms primarily from 7-13 weeks. I thought they would never end....but they did!
I want to add that I didn't feel any discomfort in the abdominal area. Some women experience cramping, like period-cramping, or they think they feel a tugging feeling. I didn't feel a thing, which made it really weird for me. I thought that if I was growing something in the area that I for sure would feel some stretching, but I didn't at all. It just made it hard for me to believe that a fetus was growing inside of me.
So the "bad" symptoms went away. I felt and still feel like a new woman. I didn't have to take naps and my energy was back in full blast. IT was amazing. From 13-18 weeks, which is now, I've felt really good. Still kinda worried here and there, but not like before. What I'm waiting for now is a for my belly to expand. It sure does after a eat a whole bunch, but it doesn't look like a pregnant belly. I absolutely feel and look chubbier.
What I have felt is a bit of "fluttering." Now, you'll never know what this is really like until it happens to you. For some women it feels like gas or butterflies. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's definitely close to fluttering. Like little tiny tapping near my umbilical cord. It happens so quickly too, which is why I think it's also called "quickening." This has only happened a hand-full of times, but it's cool. It's kind of strange too....
I want to end with saying that it so easy to obsess with what you're going to feel in early pregnancy. And it's so easy for me to say not to. There are many times where I don't feel pregnant and I think, gosh, it's probably true when women or girls say "I didn't know I was pregnant." I kind of have to believe that now. I am convinced that pregnancy is all about waiting, being patient, letting it take it's own course. I think the best thing to do is learn what is actually happening. Learn how the female body functions and how it is you get pregnant and how it is that your body changes. There will be differences, but there will be similarities too and it just all depends on how it affects you.
The days right after ovulation, I did not feel a thing. When I went on-line to check what I should look out for, women swore they felt implantation (when fertilized egg implants itself somewhere in the uterus). This should happen 6-10 days after you ovulate. Conception occurs a soon as you ovulate since sperm is waiting for egg, but then it (the teeny-tiny cell) just floats down to your uterus, which takes several days. I did not feel a thing, and I believe many, many women don't either. People think they shouldn't do anything like exercise or be active or even eat or drink anything unhealthy (I will admit, I was one of those people) because they think it will interfere with implantation. I now say and believe it can't be true. How do super-duper athletes get pregnant then? How do super-duper UNhealthy women get pregnant?
After implantation occurs, some women experience "implantation bleeding." That didn't happen to me either. I do believe that the bleeding happens more often than actually feeling implantation b/c some women think it's their period that has arrived. What I think is so crazy about getting pregnant, is that the symptoms are so, so, so similar to getting your period. You will see that women will say they totally thought that their period was coming, when in reality they were pregnant. Or vise-versa, they think they are pregnant and hello, there's Aunt Flo.
My first symptom was that I didn't get my period. I did test the day before I was supposed to get it, but it was true confirmation when I didn't get it. By the way, my cycles were about 26-32 days long. It was hard to monitor ovulation with such a variety. I probably should have used ovulation kits earlier, but didn't want to take it that seriously at that point.
About a week later, I started to feel early, and I mean early symptoms. If you're in-tune with your body, it's easier to realize what's happening. My 2nd and 3rd symptoms were nausea and headaches. I never really had headaches before I was pregnant, but I get them now. The first headache was awful. Probably a migraine. It lasted about 2 days. The nausea was here and there. I didn't feel anything else until the not-so-subtle nausea kicked into high gear along with the exhaustion, at about 7 weeks. This is when I started to feel miserable.
I was feeling sick constantly, tired like you wouldn't believe, and super emotional. My boobs started to hurt too, but they weren't hurting like I was getting my period. The nipples hurt badly, like needles were going in them. When I got cold, they would get hard and hurt like crazy. I thought it would feel like when my period was coming, but it wasn't. It was very different for me. I felt these symptoms primarily from 7-13 weeks. I thought they would never end....but they did!
I want to add that I didn't feel any discomfort in the abdominal area. Some women experience cramping, like period-cramping, or they think they feel a tugging feeling. I didn't feel a thing, which made it really weird for me. I thought that if I was growing something in the area that I for sure would feel some stretching, but I didn't at all. It just made it hard for me to believe that a fetus was growing inside of me.
So the "bad" symptoms went away. I felt and still feel like a new woman. I didn't have to take naps and my energy was back in full blast. IT was amazing. From 13-18 weeks, which is now, I've felt really good. Still kinda worried here and there, but not like before. What I'm waiting for now is a for my belly to expand. It sure does after a eat a whole bunch, but it doesn't look like a pregnant belly. I absolutely feel and look chubbier.
What I have felt is a bit of "fluttering." Now, you'll never know what this is really like until it happens to you. For some women it feels like gas or butterflies. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's definitely close to fluttering. Like little tiny tapping near my umbilical cord. It happens so quickly too, which is why I think it's also called "quickening." This has only happened a hand-full of times, but it's cool. It's kind of strange too....
I want to end with saying that it so easy to obsess with what you're going to feel in early pregnancy. And it's so easy for me to say not to. There are many times where I don't feel pregnant and I think, gosh, it's probably true when women or girls say "I didn't know I was pregnant." I kind of have to believe that now. I am convinced that pregnancy is all about waiting, being patient, letting it take it's own course. I think the best thing to do is learn what is actually happening. Learn how the female body functions and how it is you get pregnant and how it is that your body changes. There will be differences, but there will be similarities too and it just all depends on how it affects you.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Raging Hormones
The other day I came home and my husband and I were catching up on our day. I was talking about something that was somewhat concerning me and I noticed that he was skimming through a book. I, all of sudden, got really pissed, started crying, and told him that he appeared completely disengaged. This happened in a matter of minutes. I couldn't stop crying. Once you start crying, that's it - it takes over! I turned on the television because I needed something to distract me. Now my husband was unhappy and tried to get me to talk about it, but I declined. Later he apologized and told me that he was preoccupied with the book (the Expectant Father) and had baby names and daycare on his mind. I know... Anyway, needless to say, he isn't usually a disengaged person, and I was just being such a baby! But this is what happens. You cry, you cry, and you cry.
There was another incident where I was using a blender that wasn't working very well. I was making hot soup and wanted to puree it, but the blender was not cooperating. I lost it. I cried and couldn't stop. I left the soup and blender, and went to the bathroom. It was ridiculous. I jumped in the tub thinking that would help and it didn't. I felt better the more I cried. But then you know, it goes away. I was fine and dealt with the soup later. Talk about mood swings.
Emotions will run high from the beginning. Your hormones are all over the place and you don't really know what that means until you experience it. Working in a prenatal clinic, I always see that women early on, get really sad and emotional and I used to think, "gosh, why?" Well, it happened to me. What happens is that physically your body starts to rapidly change, and sometimes you don't even feel it. For some women, you start to feel nauseous (I like to describe it as being hung-over all the time or having sea-sickness all the time) and tired and moody right away. I'm very in-tune with my body so these symptoms were really affecting me. It made me feel so off. I stopped working out because I was too sick and had no energy. I wanted to sleep all the time. I wasn't happy. I kept thinking, as I said before, "I should be so excited that I'm pregnant," but I wasn't. I felt bad and guilty and I had thoughts that maybe I would miscarry because I was feeling this way.
I caught this early on and I did my best to fight it. I kept telling myself that this would go away and that I would feel better. I would eat something every 2hrs, even though I wasn't hungry and I made sure I napped at noon most days, and when I got home from work. It made a difference. Eating and sleeping. I was bummed that I wasn't exercising, which they say helps a great deal, but I didn't force myself to do that. The symptoms were taking over, so I did what was easiest and convenient.
By 12-13 weeks, I was feeling much better. I caught a horrible cold that diminished my nausea because I couldn't smell or taste anything. My energy started to come back. One day I woke up and I was like, OMG I feel like my old self again. I didn't think it would happen. Some women experience these crazy symptoms throughout their entire pregnancy. I thought that would be me.
I believe that you shouldn't feel guilty or bad when you physically feel like shit. It's a part of pregnancy and it's important to just be honest with yourself and with others. I think women should tell friends or family when they're feeling miserable because it helps. No one is ever alone in this process and you just have to work through it because it's totally worth it. Time goes by quickly and before you know it becomes a lost memory.
I want to add that along with these physical symptoms you start to wonder what parenthood will be like and it's scary! When we decided to have a baby, I was very confident that I was so ready for this, but the reality is you will doubt yourself many times. I decided that I can only take it day-by-day and hope that I will have strength to face whatever comes my way. So far...so good.
There was another incident where I was using a blender that wasn't working very well. I was making hot soup and wanted to puree it, but the blender was not cooperating. I lost it. I cried and couldn't stop. I left the soup and blender, and went to the bathroom. It was ridiculous. I jumped in the tub thinking that would help and it didn't. I felt better the more I cried. But then you know, it goes away. I was fine and dealt with the soup later. Talk about mood swings.
Emotions will run high from the beginning. Your hormones are all over the place and you don't really know what that means until you experience it. Working in a prenatal clinic, I always see that women early on, get really sad and emotional and I used to think, "gosh, why?" Well, it happened to me. What happens is that physically your body starts to rapidly change, and sometimes you don't even feel it. For some women, you start to feel nauseous (I like to describe it as being hung-over all the time or having sea-sickness all the time) and tired and moody right away. I'm very in-tune with my body so these symptoms were really affecting me. It made me feel so off. I stopped working out because I was too sick and had no energy. I wanted to sleep all the time. I wasn't happy. I kept thinking, as I said before, "I should be so excited that I'm pregnant," but I wasn't. I felt bad and guilty and I had thoughts that maybe I would miscarry because I was feeling this way.
I caught this early on and I did my best to fight it. I kept telling myself that this would go away and that I would feel better. I would eat something every 2hrs, even though I wasn't hungry and I made sure I napped at noon most days, and when I got home from work. It made a difference. Eating and sleeping. I was bummed that I wasn't exercising, which they say helps a great deal, but I didn't force myself to do that. The symptoms were taking over, so I did what was easiest and convenient.
By 12-13 weeks, I was feeling much better. I caught a horrible cold that diminished my nausea because I couldn't smell or taste anything. My energy started to come back. One day I woke up and I was like, OMG I feel like my old self again. I didn't think it would happen. Some women experience these crazy symptoms throughout their entire pregnancy. I thought that would be me.
I believe that you shouldn't feel guilty or bad when you physically feel like shit. It's a part of pregnancy and it's important to just be honest with yourself and with others. I think women should tell friends or family when they're feeling miserable because it helps. No one is ever alone in this process and you just have to work through it because it's totally worth it. Time goes by quickly and before you know it becomes a lost memory.
I want to add that along with these physical symptoms you start to wonder what parenthood will be like and it's scary! When we decided to have a baby, I was very confident that I was so ready for this, but the reality is you will doubt yourself many times. I decided that I can only take it day-by-day and hope that I will have strength to face whatever comes my way. So far...so good.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Telling people
When I got pregnant I wanted to tell the world, but I didn't. I told my husband, of course, and then I told my 2 sisters. We were all cautiously excited. Before I was pregnant, I would always say that you should tell friends and loved-ones because if something were to happen with the pregnancy, you can receive emotional support. You would tell people close to you what was happening whether it was good or bad. My husband felt like we should wait. He felt the same about telling people so that we would receive support, but all of sudden you think about who you will tell, and realize it's a lot of people. Then you go through the, "maybe we should tell parents first in case they get the news from others." And that goes the same with certain friends. And then you do think, if we tell people early on and you do miscarry, you have to go back and tell everyone you've told already. That just sounded like a lot of work and it made me realize that's why most people don't say anything until they know for sure that it is viable pregnancy.
So, we waited until we got the go ahead from the dr., but it was so hard. Think about it, 6 weeks before you can really tell anyone. We got the go ahead at 10 weeks, which I still thought was kind of early. I was still thinking that I wasn't in the clear entirely. It was such a relief to tell people. It's interesting to see people's reactions too. Those that have children are so excited for you and get almost emotional. Love that. Then those who don't have children are so excited for you too, but it's definitely different.
What I thought was kind of funny was when I would tell people, especially women, they would automatically look at my midsection. The next question was, "how far along are you?" At first I felt a bit self-conscious about the look, but then I thought it just a natural reaction. Then you get all the typical questions: "when is your due date?", "are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?", "are you going to go back to work?", "how are you feeling?" It's definitely fun to talk about - you never get tired of it. At least I haven't.
So, we waited until we got the go ahead from the dr., but it was so hard. Think about it, 6 weeks before you can really tell anyone. We got the go ahead at 10 weeks, which I still thought was kind of early. I was still thinking that I wasn't in the clear entirely. It was such a relief to tell people. It's interesting to see people's reactions too. Those that have children are so excited for you and get almost emotional. Love that. Then those who don't have children are so excited for you too, but it's definitely different.
What I thought was kind of funny was when I would tell people, especially women, they would automatically look at my midsection. The next question was, "how far along are you?" At first I felt a bit self-conscious about the look, but then I thought it just a natural reaction. Then you get all the typical questions: "when is your due date?", "are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?", "are you going to go back to work?", "how are you feeling?" It's definitely fun to talk about - you never get tired of it. At least I haven't.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Continuación…
In my situation, miscarriage was a risk because I have a bicornuate uterus. A heart-shaped uterus. What that means, or to my understanding, when women are born our uterus has a division in the middle. As our bodies develop and the uterus becomes fully developed, the division goes away. For some women, the division doesn't go away, which is why the uterus actually looks heart-shaped (there are ultrasounds posted on-line if you're curious). There are various degrees of this uterine anomaly and for some women it means they will have issues with getting pregnant and/or carrying a baby to term. A few doctors couldn't tell me if my lovely uterus was severe or not. All they said was that there is a possible bicornuate and that it would be closely monitored once I was pregnant. Great.
I'll never know if the fact that it took me 7 months to get pregnant was because of my funky shaped uterus. When I did get pregnant, I would go on the internet to find out more about symptoms of miscarriage. I was totally expecting it and so of course, I was worried. Not a lot, but it kept me from being completely excited about my pregnancy. It was kind of too bad because then when I did start feeling pregnancy symptoms, I was totally miserable...
I didn't have symptoms of miscarriage. No spotting, no cramping, of any kind. I thought this was a good sign. The whole pregnancy thing is such a crazy waiting game! I find out I'm pregnant at about 4 weeks. I can't make my initial prenatal appointment until about 7 weeks - they don't even check heartbeat then. My dr. orders an ultrasound b/c of the kind of uterus I have, so luckily I get one at 7.5 weeks. Let me tell you, the night before was hell. I was already feeling symptoms of being emotional and I was super tired. I was scared to death that maybe there wouldn't be anything in my uterus. Or, if there was something there, it wouldn't be living. My husband could feel my anxiety, but he didn't say a word. I think he felt the same thing. He's much more positive than I am though... Anyway, after work I fell asleep on the couch and then went to bed at my normal time. I wanted the time to go by fast so that the next morning would come quickly. It did. We went to the appointment, the tech did the ultrasound (which by the way, I thought would give me information about what she was seeing, but she didn't say a word) and told me to go to my dr.'s appointment in 2 weeks. We did see an embryo and heartbeat and it was growing in a timely fashion.
I couldn't wait 2 weeks! I called my dr. that afternoon and she was out of town. Another dr. looked at the ultrasound and said it all looked good....and that there was a possible bicornuate. That drove me nuts, but there was nothing I could do but WAIT! I've learned that pregnancy can sometimes be soooooo ambiguous. You really don't know what could happen and when it does, then that is when they'll give you an answer. Back in the day, women didn't have regular appointments or ultrasounds. How did they do it?! Anyway, I learned to be patient and I continued with my daily living.
I should say that 1st ultrasound appointment was pretty cool. It's unbelievable what you can see these days and how we learn more and more about our bodies. I learned that the little nugget on the screen was a "zygote" (with a beating heart) and the attached "yoke" is what was nourishing it. Wild.
I'll never know if the fact that it took me 7 months to get pregnant was because of my funky shaped uterus. When I did get pregnant, I would go on the internet to find out more about symptoms of miscarriage. I was totally expecting it and so of course, I was worried. Not a lot, but it kept me from being completely excited about my pregnancy. It was kind of too bad because then when I did start feeling pregnancy symptoms, I was totally miserable...
I didn't have symptoms of miscarriage. No spotting, no cramping, of any kind. I thought this was a good sign. The whole pregnancy thing is such a crazy waiting game! I find out I'm pregnant at about 4 weeks. I can't make my initial prenatal appointment until about 7 weeks - they don't even check heartbeat then. My dr. orders an ultrasound b/c of the kind of uterus I have, so luckily I get one at 7.5 weeks. Let me tell you, the night before was hell. I was already feeling symptoms of being emotional and I was super tired. I was scared to death that maybe there wouldn't be anything in my uterus. Or, if there was something there, it wouldn't be living. My husband could feel my anxiety, but he didn't say a word. I think he felt the same thing. He's much more positive than I am though... Anyway, after work I fell asleep on the couch and then went to bed at my normal time. I wanted the time to go by fast so that the next morning would come quickly. It did. We went to the appointment, the tech did the ultrasound (which by the way, I thought would give me information about what she was seeing, but she didn't say a word) and told me to go to my dr.'s appointment in 2 weeks. We did see an embryo and heartbeat and it was growing in a timely fashion.
I couldn't wait 2 weeks! I called my dr. that afternoon and she was out of town. Another dr. looked at the ultrasound and said it all looked good....and that there was a possible bicornuate. That drove me nuts, but there was nothing I could do but WAIT! I've learned that pregnancy can sometimes be soooooo ambiguous. You really don't know what could happen and when it does, then that is when they'll give you an answer. Back in the day, women didn't have regular appointments or ultrasounds. How did they do it?! Anyway, I learned to be patient and I continued with my daily living.
I should say that 1st ultrasound appointment was pretty cool. It's unbelievable what you can see these days and how we learn more and more about our bodies. I learned that the little nugget on the screen was a "zygote" (with a beating heart) and the attached "yoke" is what was nourishing it. Wild.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Getting preggo
I've been meaning to write about my pregnancy for a while now, but the 1st trimester wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Not because I had any complications, but because I felt miserable. I couldn't believe that something I've anticipated for so long, could finally happen, and then make me feel so horrible! I am 17 weeks today, but I will write about the beginnings of my wonderful pregnancy and hopefully catch up to write about what is happening now.
First, I'd like to talk about what I did to get pregnant. I was like all the other ladies who are trying to get pregnant - Obsessed! Not at first, but when I wasn't getting pregnant, I was totally wondering what was wrong. Was I not working out enough? Was I not eating well? What nutrients was I lacking? Am I too old? (I'm 33.) I started to take these vitamins (Vitex) that I thought would strengthen my uterus...I started to take Red Raspberry Tea droplets to also make my uterus strong. I was also doing the Primrose Oil thing. I have to say that if you're a healthy woman, these things aren't necessary. But I know, you will do anything to get pregnant. I took these supplements in the last 2 months of pregnancy (along with prenatal vitamins) and I will never know if this is what helped. I do have to say that you need to be healthy. Interestingly, I thought that if I didn't drink (which was casual) and I didn't eat junk food, and I didn't exercise a lot (I'm a marathon runner) that I would get pregnant. What do you know, I was doing all these things when I got pregnant....
I got pregnant after 7 months of "trying." (By the way, hated that word beforehand, but now I use it because, well, we were frickin' trying!) We didn't try seriously enough in the first 4 months because we were traveling and things were just a bit off. Then I thought, I should be more serious about it and started tracking when I was ovulating. That didn't work for 2 months. I realized that it was possible that I only had a 12 hr window for ovulation. It's different for every woman. Plus, this could've all happened when I was at work! So, my sister-in-law gave me these awesome ovulation kits (1st response, I believe) and they worked. The last month, the month I got pregnant, I had two very faint positives. Took one in mid-morning and one in the late evening. Sure enough, the very next day I ovulated (I went completely dry - sorry if TMI) and that was it. I swear, it's all about timing.
When I got pregnant, I couldn't believe it at first, but then when I was finally testing for the 3rd time, I was convinced.. It was exciting - for about a minute! The problem with finding out the day before you're about to get your period is that you have ALL THIS TIME to worry about if you're going to miscarry. I work in a prenatal clinic so that doesn't help, at all. Let me tell you, there is always something to worry about....if you're like me. Stay tuned, more to come.
First, I'd like to talk about what I did to get pregnant. I was like all the other ladies who are trying to get pregnant - Obsessed! Not at first, but when I wasn't getting pregnant, I was totally wondering what was wrong. Was I not working out enough? Was I not eating well? What nutrients was I lacking? Am I too old? (I'm 33.) I started to take these vitamins (Vitex) that I thought would strengthen my uterus...I started to take Red Raspberry Tea droplets to also make my uterus strong. I was also doing the Primrose Oil thing. I have to say that if you're a healthy woman, these things aren't necessary. But I know, you will do anything to get pregnant. I took these supplements in the last 2 months of pregnancy (along with prenatal vitamins) and I will never know if this is what helped. I do have to say that you need to be healthy. Interestingly, I thought that if I didn't drink (which was casual) and I didn't eat junk food, and I didn't exercise a lot (I'm a marathon runner) that I would get pregnant. What do you know, I was doing all these things when I got pregnant....
I got pregnant after 7 months of "trying." (By the way, hated that word beforehand, but now I use it because, well, we were frickin' trying!) We didn't try seriously enough in the first 4 months because we were traveling and things were just a bit off. Then I thought, I should be more serious about it and started tracking when I was ovulating. That didn't work for 2 months. I realized that it was possible that I only had a 12 hr window for ovulation. It's different for every woman. Plus, this could've all happened when I was at work! So, my sister-in-law gave me these awesome ovulation kits (1st response, I believe) and they worked. The last month, the month I got pregnant, I had two very faint positives. Took one in mid-morning and one in the late evening. Sure enough, the very next day I ovulated (I went completely dry - sorry if TMI) and that was it. I swear, it's all about timing.
When I got pregnant, I couldn't believe it at first, but then when I was finally testing for the 3rd time, I was convinced.. It was exciting - for about a minute! The problem with finding out the day before you're about to get your period is that you have ALL THIS TIME to worry about if you're going to miscarry. I work in a prenatal clinic so that doesn't help, at all. Let me tell you, there is always something to worry about....if you're like me. Stay tuned, more to come.
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