Bringing Baby into the World

Earlier in my pregnancy I heard that in your 1st trimester there's a lot of introspection going on. You do a lot of inward thinking, like, holy crap I'm pregnant and what does that mean? How is going to feel, what should I expect? You're so excited yet super apprehensive. Then in your second trimester it's all about what you are physically feeling and how you look. The body expands, people start noticing, you talk a lot about the pregnancy and what is going. In this 3rd trimester you start to think, ok, I'm going to have this baby soon and all of sudden The Thinking begins. What does that mean for me? For my husband? How IS IT going to change our lives, and what are we going show him, and teach him, and how are we going to make sure that he learns to love, that he learns compassion, and that sometimes he will not know the mysteries of life?

I believe my thinking has a lot to with my work. I see pregnant women all the time and I often see women question their pregnancies. I work in an environment where many women aren't very excited about being pregnant. They learn to deal with it, but it's not something they're thrilled about. They get angry because they realize that having a child is difficult, and that it's going to entirely change their lives. But what I don't see them doing is prepare in a way that will make their childrens' lives better than their own, or prepare for healthier lives, and I don't see them doing it with some purpose.

Luckily, I don't have these thoughts and I am by no means angry about having a child, but it has brought me to think about why it is that I'm bringing this baby into this world. I can't possibly be doing it because I simply want to! I am not "planning" what kind of life I want our children to have, but it has become important to me to think about what is the purpose of life, and how am I going to share and explore that with our baby, once he's a kid, teenager, then an adult? I know, this is a bit philosophical, but it's been consuming my thoughts lately.

So, this is what I'm pondering. I haven't really come up with any solid answers (and I don't think I will), but right now this is what's lingering in my brain. I know that my husband and I lead healthy lifestyles that will greatly influence our child's life, and that is reassuring. I see that. My purpose in life is to be happy, to love, to have compassion, and to lead a life that is fulfilling. With this, Baby Jimenez-Smith will have a good start.