Not Believing in Santa

I know this is so evil of me, but I don’t believe in Santa. I never did, and I don’t know if I ever will. Now that I have a child, I’m thinking of ways to keep Santa away. Far, far, away. But we all know that this is impossible.

Growing up, Santa “came” to the house, but I always knew that it was my mom putting presents underneath the tree, and that it really wasn’t Santa. I always knew he wasn’t real...but that was OK. My mom never presented Santa as this magical man who’d come to your house if you were nice, and that if you behaved all year long, he would bring you everything you could wish for. This “magic” didn’t exist in our world, and well, it was always OK. Part of that was that my mom couldn't afford to buy us gifts and so there were no wish-lists. Back then, it might've been kind of sad, but now, I appreciate it. I didn't grow up expecting and I can admit that it shaped my view on what Christmas should really be about.

Now that I have a kiddo, and I tell people that Santa will not be “coming” to the house, they look at me like I’m this crazy, twisted, mom. Santa is so connected to consumerism and I really struggle with the Christmas holiday just for that reason. People spend way too much money, and there is so much greed in the air. There are so many expectations and if they aren’t met people and children are disappointed! I just think it’s a waste. And then I think of those who can't have Santa come to their home (like me!) and I think gosh, they think x-mas sucks b/c they simply didn't get any gifts. That's not what it's all about!!!

To put in a different perspective, a friend mentioned that how do you then let your child have wishes and dreams during the holiday season. I see that, but I only see how people/children link dreams and wishes to the gift-giving Santa. Why can't Santa include that Christmas is not all about getting toys. "He" doesn't say that it could be about love, about sharing happiness, about finding peace and joy in friendships and family and maybe helping others do the same. These are good dreams, no? I never hear Santa talk about any of this! If he did, then maybe I would be OK with him.

So, how do I explain this to our little boy? Thank god I don’t have to do it now, as he’s only 8 months old and doesn’t get it yet, but it won’t be long before he starts to and well, I want to be prepared. I know that the meaning of Christmas is different for everyone, but I want it to be something meaningful to him. I can’t keep Santa away from him, I know. And I know that he could ruin it for other children and then I’ll have parents breaking down our doors and kicking our asses. But, I will be adamant about reducing the Santa attraction, that I know will be for sure. I just need to figure out how!

This x-mas, we’ll be getting together with family from both sides of the family; with those living in MN, and then my family coming in from Chicago and Austin. We do have a tree, but it only has lights and a Peace sign on top and we only got it b/c our friend/realtor gave us one - but we are grateful, and it is beautiful. There will be gifts, but not from Santa, just from cousins, Tios, Tias, Abuelitas and grandpa. We scratched “secret santa” from my side of the family (Alleluia!), but not from my husband’s side. We’ll work harder on that next year. We’ll go to Church and say our thank you’s to God for an amazing, but crazy-ass year. And then we’ll eat and drink and definitely be merry. This is what our Christmas will look like this year…