Approaching 9

9 months, that is. This little boy is giving us a sneak peak of what the next, oh, 18years are going to be like. He has started to pull himself up in his crib and actually tries to hang on with one hand. When he does, he gets all excited and looks at me like, look mom!! He is crawling everywhere and really fast. He isn’t afraid of anything, which I like but at the same time scares me! I don’t know which is worse, a kid who is fearless, or a child who is fearful?? I think both extremes are hard to handle…

Well, now that the holidays are over, I can say that we had a very successful season. My family made it into town and they were all able to enjoy the house, the snow, and each other. My family actually makes the best of our times together since most of us live in separate states. We ate, drank, and played with the kids – three things we love to do.

We were even able to baptize our little guy, given that everyone was in town. We were going to do in a church, but thought it may be a long time before we’re together like this so we went ahead with it in our home. It was so nice and so intimate. Both sides of the family were there, plus the priest that married my husband and me. We chose God-couples since we really wanted to have all four people involved.

We chose my older sister and her husband because she’s my oldest sister who somewhat raised me, who always wanted me to succeed, and who was there when I labored for Javier for 40 hrs! She was there for 2 days (9 days passed my due-date) thinking for sure I would’ve had the baby then, but couldn’t stay due to work. The baby was born the next day, but needless to say she was an incredible help during that time. Her husband is a hard-working, honest, and generous man and we thought he would be great as Javier’s godfather.

Jeff’s sister and husband we chose because we “shared” a duplex with them and I got to really know them. They were such great neighbors, and I miss them now that we live apart!! They are an amazing couple, who have huge hearts and are just the kindest people. They are both gentle and loving and it was just a natural decision to have them as Javier’s godparents.

Back to Christmas for a second: In one of my previous posts, I wrote about not being able to believe in Santa. Well, now that I’ve spoken to several people about it, I have to say that I don’t dislike him anymore. I understand now that Santa is there for children’s imagination and that the image allows kids to also believe in magic. I do want Javier to have an imagination and to be able to have imaginative experiences so that he can always try to reach for what might be unthinkable… I guess my fear was that he would be disappointed, in various ways, but if we present it to him in a fun and “theatrical” way, then he may truly enjoy it. And, I think the goal simply is to remind him that Christmas has many different meanings. See look, he likes the sound of that...

Now back to baptism: A friend asked, why are you baptizing Javier and why now? Part of it is because Javier is no longer this newborn who has no clue what is going on around him. He has a personality that is charming, inquisitive, and it continues to grow as he explores the world around him. Faith, and not a specific faith, but just faith is important in my world, and I think that a baptism is in introduction to this concept. I know he doesn’t know what that is right now, but in my spiritual reality, this concept of faith is what lets me live and I want him to feel that. I have to have faith in the world and in people to live a fulfilling life and I would like to pass that feeling on to Javier. This baptism wasn’t to put him in a “box” of Catholicism (which the Priest is and the ceremony was), but it was more of a spiritual gift to Javier symbolizing that life will be complex, and that life will be beautiful and ugly at the same time, but that with faith, he’ll live a fulfilling and rewarding life. If anything, this baptism was more for us adults (which I believe is the case everywhere) as a renewal of faith and of hope, and I guess it was a symbolic way to pass it on.

Sorry, long and maybe a bit heavy, but it’s been a while since I’ve written. Lots to think about.