Two Telling Moments

My husband and I have this thing where we kiss each other when we separate or come together. We’ve been doing this from the very beginning of our relationship and it’s something that comes naturally to us. So the other day, Jeff came home and I was holding the baby. He came towards me and gave me a kiss and Javier started to giggle. We all giggled, and my husband and I thought, let’s do it again and see if he giggles again. He did!! He watched us with a smiley face and as soon as we kissed he laughed. It was the cutest thing ever and we thought, well heck if kissing makes him happy, we’ll just do it all the time…

The beauty of this is the reminder that babies/children will watch every move you make and will react to it in one way or another. Children are super smart and they will catch on when something positive or negative is happening. I think of all the families that have a lot of negative things happening in their homes and how children are in the middle of all of that. I believe that this is why we have disturbed children who then become troubled adults who then have dysfunctional families. If people could just UNDERSTAND that everything they do in front of their children, is extremely influential, then maybe people would behave with more care.

I see the dysfunction in the families I work with, and it’s just something I hope I can help them with so they too can break the cycle and show their kids what it is to love and show affection towards one another.

Now that my almost 9 month old (tomorrow!) is crawling, pulling himself up, and standing all the time, he’s now experiencing a petty sleep habit. He wakes up between 4-6am and thinks it’s time to play!! No way!! I can’t handle it, but understand that it’s a developmental thing and that now we have to help him get through it. AH, this is what it means to be a good parent and it is the hardest thing we’ve had to do yet. And that is, letting him Cry It Out.

Javier doesn’t cry very much, but when he does, man, he let’s you know he’s pissed. My husband attributes that to my Latin blood… I say it’s my husband’s stubbornness… Anyway, I do get an anxious tick when I hear my baby cry and so like most moms (and parents) we pick him up. He has always slept pretty well, so picking him up, nursing him and putting him back down has never really been an issue, but now there’s a whole world for him to explore and he wants to do at the crack of dawn. I’m not letting him have this one.

So just this morning, he woke up at 4:40am and we both lied there and thought, shoot, here’s the moment; our hearts were thumping, and we both froze. Javier started to cry hard and we talked through it: “OK, 10 minutes and then Jeff, go in there, put in the pacifier if he takes it, shush him and walk out.” Ten grueling minutes passed so Jeff went in, but he was in there forever!! I kept thinking, hurry up and leave! Finally, he comes back and I was like, what the heck were you doing in there?! No answer. Well, then of course, Javier’s starts crying hard, again. We both lied there quietly, and it wasn’t too bad. Javier would fade, then got the hiccups, then cried, and we decided that I would nurse him for a little bit to make sure he wasn’t hungry. He ate a little bit and then I put him back down. We let him cry for 20 more min. It totally worked! He fell asleep at 5:30 and woke up at 7:30am. It was hard, but then heavenly. We all slept soundly.

The book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Children said to go cold turkey. We cheated a little bit, but for the most part let him cry. The book also stated that crying has an amnesic affect (which is why it is great to cry in general) so babies eventually fall asleep and forget why they even woke up. Aaah, to know all of this is such a relief and helps to not feel guilty.